If you know me at all, which you probably do if you’re taking the time to read this, you know that I am a shameless, unapologetic, unabashed, (you getting the picture here?) germophobe.
Don’t ask me if you can borrow my chapstick.
Please, I beg you, do not ask to take a sip from my drink.
If you love me, cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough, preferably with the crook of your arm. 🙂
I dated my husband for months and months before I shared a drink with him.
My best girlfriend literally nearly had a heart attack when I agreed to use her lipgloss AT HER WEDDING… just so my lips would look good in her pics. It was hard, y’all.
Seriously, it’s a problem- a nuisance really. I am not exactly sure how I came to be this way… I mean, I grew up in Africa. We used the bathroom on the side of the road, we ate from community bowls at church, on occasion we drank water from plastic bags that were “inflated” with the fresh hot breath of the African ladies. We ate in a “fast food” restaurant along with the lizards, that was so populated with flies that we literally sprayed the air around us with bugspray as we ate.
I like to think it’s just me being considerate of others. I mean seriously, who really WANTS my germs to become theirs? Then I guess I just assume that others will reciprocate.
Since having a baby though, I now know that I am wrong. People don’t really care about my germ-hating tendencies. I literally cringe when people let Elijah drink from their cups. I have to just walk away. It’s terrible. And of course, people love to feed babies from their plates… Eek! I can’t take it…
The other night, my son ate dog food. Real, slobbery, straight from the bowl, dog food. What’s even worse? It wasn’t our dog- we don’t have one. (As if somehow, a family dog would’ve only had “family germs,” ya know? right, Heidi, right…) Everyone thought it was funny. I laughed- but inside I am pretty sure I cried.
I know- he’s a kid, dirt don’t hurt, it’ll make his immune system stronger, so on and so forth. I hear ya. But it doesn’t help.
I can’t help it. Please tell me I’m not alone. Please don’t hate me. I love you all, really I do. It’s not me being snobby. I just don’t feel the need to share EVERYTHING with you… 🙂
I’m working on it. I’m asking the Lord for help 🙂